Even if I stayed, it just wouldn't be the same."
- "Cavalier Eternal" by Against Me!
Brad & I have both had the shittiest day today. I really shouldn't post about his life, so I won't. But the song quote applies more to him than me.
So my bad day started off last night, at midnight. I decided to check out livejournal, & I noticed that Veronica had made a post. Basically it was about how she & Alex have been having sex, but aren't boyfriend & girlfriend. They're friends with benefits, in so many words. Anyway, that made me feel shitty, being the lonely virgin I am. I went to sleep, & I had a really shitty nightmare. But first, here's a preface, I'm seriously considering kicking Amanda & Casey out, 'cause they're really loud & considering our housing situation, we need to be quiet as fuck. So I dreamt that Amanda freaked out with the news & threw a ridiculous tantrum, taking a knife to the carpets. Yeah, needless to say that didn't put me in a good mood this morning. This morning I woke up on time, tired, but on time. I showered, got dressed & made breakfast. My toast burned. I made the decision to wear shorts & a t-shirt. As soon as I got outside I thought it was going to start raining within hours. & I was like, "Fuck. I didn't even bring my sweater."
Classes were okay, I suppose. I almost crashed into some kid on the way from Media Theater to Classroom Unit 2. I felt horrible, but my brakes are shot. I didn't feel it wasn't 100% my fault, not that I felt it was at all his fault. But yeah, that sucked. My handlebars came loose soon after that. So I went to the bike co-op to tighten the brakes and thing that held the handlebars. On my way home from my last class I lost my wallet, which happened to have my Student ID, Driver's License, Social Security Card, and my ATM card. & my spare sim card. Yeah, basically my identity is floating around Santa Cruz. Also on my way home I took too sharp of a turn & fell face first into the passenger side window of a Chevy Tahoe, breaking my sunglasses & cutting up my face. The vehicle was fine though. & yeah, I didn't realize I had lost my wallet until I got back.
Also when I was on campus today, I was refused my fall quarter sticker [which turns out would've been pointless for me to get]. My loans were properly activated apparently, so I have to wait another 2 days until it's cleared up.
Tomorrow's my first day of work at Woodworm. I hope this turns out well, but this gash on my face makes me feel slightly badass, but more sketchy.
Yesterday was a fun day, so maybe it's the universe's way of equaling things out, but that's a fucked up way of doing it.
But yeah, as far as the Veronica/Alex news goes. It doesn't bother me thaaat much. It's just a disappointment 'cause she's pretty much the only girl that's really given me much attention as of late. She was basically my outlet for any sort of affection I could get away with. Compliments, lunch "dates", movies, t.v. shows. All that stuff. Maricela is too depressing to be around. I don't feel like we're on the same level. She seems too debonair, bemused, so does her roommate Stephanie.
I really need some sincerity, I want honesty. I want company. I hate feeling so alone. I mean I hang out with Brad a good amount. & he's definitely good company, but I really need someone on the same brainwavelength as me, in a positive way. Brad & I have just been distraught together. I want someone to share good times with. I really want a girlfriend, dammit.
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